It not you.... It's me.

Warrington the last few months have been great, they really have but I think it might be time for us to call it a day. Don't get me wrong some of our nights together have been amazing, you sure know how to show a girl a good time. But, in the cold hard light of day.... This just isn't what I want. Your pathetic attempt at decent boys with their cheesy chat up lines, the amount of money you cost me, the hangovers and more importantly the way you make me feel about myself the next morning.... Like some kind of desperate girl. I'm fed up of going out wanting to catch someones attention, because let's face, they aren't the type of boys/men that I want attention off.

Last night I got asked out for a 'roast dinner, glass of wine and a side of sex'.... By a 19 year old (I'm 25 in case you were wondering). I think it's time to hang up my dancing shoes. Not completely, I'm a girl so dancing around your room to the Spice Girls is agiven. But I think I've had enough of the club 'scene'. I have had some amazing nights in the last few months dancing around Babylon to 1D and 5ive with my Wilde one but I'm beginning to feel like I'm just going out in the hope of meeting someone. Probably because I am. But thats just not how I want to meet someone, a drunken kiss in a bar and then wondering if you'll ever hear from him. Surely there has to be better ways than that, because it certainly isn't working out for me at the moment. Maybe I shoud join a dating webiste. Or maybe I should just become a hermit, focus on my uni work and stop centering my life around the fact that I'm single. Thats easier said than done though. I know because I have been saying this for the last 6 months, 'It doesnt matter that you're single, there's nothing wrong with being single, you've got to learn to be happy by yourself'...... It hasn't worked. Don't get me wrong I'm not desperate, I'm not going to just throw myself at anyone that's interested. But I'm not good at being by myself. I don't know how to do it... I dont want to do it. Spend 5 years attached to the hip of someone and this is what will happen to you. I'm fed up of going out and then waking up the next morning feeling disappointed in myself for expecting to meet the right person. I'm beginning to think I need to get over this idea of the right 'person' or the right 'feelings'. I know when something doesn't mean anything.

So yeah the sensible thing to do: Focus on my uni work and placement. Graduate and get an NQT job. Start job and move out into my own place. Simple.
The only thing is, at the moment, I dont see myself staying here after graduation.....

Anyway, enough of the pity party for one... I have an assignment to write.